talk back in class essay; eating disorders

i agree with you on my opening paragraph although i feel it could be stronger and have more detail. i am still working on it and thinking of new ways to start my paper. i need to revise my paper and make sure i stay focused on the topic and don't get off subject. i don't really explain the role of the media on woman i basically describe woman in general who feel overweight. i am going to try to work on this some more and be more clear. this will help me in writing reports for other classes and help me to stay focused on the topic. i dont see anything else wrong other than the mistakes you pointed out to me .

in-class essay; eating disorders

Eating Disorders in Woman

I agree with Kilbourne in suggesting images of woman in the media encourage young girls ad grown woman to be unnecessarily preoccupied with their weight. Magazines are portraying images of celebrities to younger girls making them feel they have to be very slim to be beautiful. Younger girls are looking up to these celebrities and want to be just like them. too many woman are self-conscious about the way they look.

All over magazines, you see celebrity woman showing off their body image. younger children see this and don't realize they are made to look this way. when other woman as well as younger girls who may not naturally look as good, are exposed to this, i believe they become depressed about their self image and feel that they are not beautiful or skinny enough. In all reality, as stated in the article 80% of fourth grader girls are watching their weight. This number is far too high considering a large majority of them are far from overweight. At such a young age these girls don't realize their bodies are just beginning to rapidly change and they still have a lot of growing to do. Seeing someone who is shown to look smaller and toned makes younger girls want to look the same. This image celebrities have made cause even the thinnest woman to be preoccupied by their weight.

Every woman, especially younger girls, look up to another woman in their life as a role model. they want to be just like them and live the lifestyle they live. Also, this includes the way they look on television, in magazines and in movies. This is not limited to the style of their clothes or hair but is as complex as the size and shape of these woman. Most girls don't realize these celebrity woman do not entirely look the way they do on camera in real life. They are made to look the best they possibly can.

Woman today, feel it is okay to not eat healthy and exercise far too much as long as they look good and are within compliance of the "stick like standards of beauty". Not only is this a bad idea for younger girls to be exposed to but when this plan to look good fails girls become discouraged and have a low self esteem. As stated in the article, 40% of college woman felt overweight when in reality, only 12% were too heavy. That leaves the other 28% of thin woman feeling over weight.

These woman need to take a good look at themselves and realize they are not going to look like these celebrities do. They may exercise and work out to become toned like celebrity woman but it is not likely they will look like them. Trying to look like someone your not is just about impossible.


POST WRITING:
1. How do you feel about the paper so far? Please explain and offer evidence from the work.
I think my paper still has a long way to go. I need to expand on my ideas and be more clear about what i am trying to say.
2. What shape do you think it's in? Please explain and offer evidence.
My paper is in fair shape. I have my main ideas and points down now i need to expand on them and get my point across.
3. What remains to be done? Please be precise.
I need to revise and edit my paper. I have to organize the paragraphs so they are in order and are not going off subject. I need to check for grammar errors and misspelling.
4. What questions do you have for the readers about the piece?
Did I get my point across clearly? Did I offer enough evidence to support what I have said? Is my paper organized so that it is easy to read and move from one idea to the next?